But while I've got this writing business going again, I thought I better not down my experience in these early days of no more uterus.
So today marks the 18th day post surgery.
It's an unusual milestone, in that it's not a special milestone by any means... Just that I've found some motivation to note down the memories and how I feel right now.
Week 1 was a lot easier than I thought it would've been. Don't get me wrong, it was very uncomfortable but I was not so much in pain because I was dosed up with painkillers. Just not able to move around easily and unable to bend down, bend over or stretch above my shoulders. And I couldn't easily turn my body without wincing. And tired. So very very tired.
I could feel my insides moving around trying to fill the now empty space and trying to settle into a good permanent position. It was a weird sensation. Not painful but not a comfortable experience.
The external incisions are healing very well, they don't hurt at all and the glue will peel off by itself. I can't see the internal wounds but as I don't feel any pain, there is no swelling or heat in the area and no unusual bleeding so I take that to be a good sign.
I shuffle walk slowly everywhere and haven't been outdoors in a week. Getting up off the couch or a chair or the bed is difficult. Not using my abs to do things is more difficult than I ever imagined. Just the simple act of sitting up in bed requires abs. I couldn't just roll over in bed to a cooler spot because I need abs, I had to use my hands to lift my butt and reposition it in bed before moving my shoulders across.
I had to sleep on my back because although technically I can sleep however I want, sleeping on my side hurt so much, it felt like gravity pulling all my guts downwards to one side.
I was told to wear some super unsexy compression socks to bed to prevent blood clots and DVT. When you cannot bend over, putting on pants and socks is hard to do so compression socks is even harder to do on your own.
I managed to keep it up for a week and then gave up.
Having a shower is also a lot of effort. Basically it takes so much effort that I need a nap immediately afterwards. So I decided not to shower every day to conserve energy.
Doctor told me that my body went through a lot of shock. Holes were poked. Things were cut, blood was lost and an organ was removed. My body needs time to adjust to such big changes and to heal itself. So a lot of my energy is spent healing itself. And taking a shower or going for a walk takes a lot of energy that it doesn't have. The body knows what to prioritise, it really is an impressive design.
So I took on doctors orders and hung up my superhero cape and put on my princess tiara instead. It was time to rest and recuperate.
Also during this week I had a job interview. Timing wasn't great but I did it and I don't know how I managed to pull that through. It went super well!
Week 2 went a lot better. I still am very tired but I decided to ease off the painkillers to see how I go. I'm quite ok. I also went for a walk around the block. What normally took less than 20mins took me about 15mins, but I feel accomplished. And I saw the sun for reals this time. Shame about having to wear a mask.
Over the weekend, Lu and I watched a stand up comedy show and we'll, belly laughing hurts. I was so conflicted, I wanted to keep watching it but also had to avoid laughing... Or at least not laugh so hard. We watched the whole thing.
Which reminds me, coughing and sneezing are not good things to do post hysterectomy. It feels like your guts are blown out of your body. Who knew coughing and sneezing requires so much ab strength?!
I went for a walk almost everyday. Just 10-15mins but I feel more mobile and less discomfort.
I also stopped taking the strong painkiller at night which helped me sleep... And guess what? I couldn't sleep for 3 nights straight.
Apparently post surgery insomnia could be a number of things... Body healing has thrown out my sleep rhythm. Weaning off painkillers also throws out your sleep patterns for a little bit... Hormones are also trying to balance itself out so that may play a part... All I know is that I'm very very tired but I cannot sleep at night. I can. Mod off easily during the day for a few hours which is good but not enough.
I had my 2nd and 3rd interview this week, and 2nd one went alright but I totally fucked up the 3rd one. I hope I was charming enough and the other candidates fuck it up just as much that I pull through. Many fingers crossed because I really need a change and I don't want to keep searching for jobs. It's boring.
Discomfort and pain are almost all over. I weighed myself this week and I lost 2kg posty surgery. My stomach is noticeably smaller. It's not flat and I've definitely gained covid weight but at least I know part of it was due to the big fibroids inside my body.
What did surprise me was the sudden flush of red on the liner on day 13. Although I was kind of expecting it because all literature tells me that as the stiches inside the body dissolve, it will get expelled by the body around the 2 week mark.
I haven't had a period since end of July, and seeing any spot of bright red alarmed me. I want to call doctors and ask but in my mind I know it's expected. There is no swelling, no pain and no full pad of blood, just a couple of spots here and there. Enough for a liner only. I'm fine, but I'm still also freaking out.
Today marks week 3 and I'm still tired but I made it through my first day back at work. I didn't fall asleep during the day.
I call that a win!
At night, another few drops of red appeared after a day or so of nothing. It is bothering me but I think more from bad past experience. I'm scarred by my last few periods. It looked like a monthly murder scene. Globs of clots the size of small aliens fell out of my body. Blobs so large they didn't fit down the drain without me first breaking it apart. It was frightening to experience! I'm scarred. But I know it will never ever need to happen again. This short term discomfort will not last and I will be happy forever!
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